Don't fall for the larp!

To Larp or To Be Loved?

Dating in this day and age and yes, I’m bringing this up because apparently I have thoughts.

There’s something kind of scary about wanting someone to really see you. Not just physically, but emotionally. Earnestly. Like, actually see you. And honestly? Sometimes it feels like asking a stranger for money. You have no idea what they’re going to do with it.

You never really know who someone is when they aren't online. We see the pictures, the posts, the playlists, the little pieces they choose to show us. But what happens when all of that is gone?

Who are they then?

And more importantly, who am I to them?

Sometimes I wonder why it feels so hard to be seen as just myself instead of a collection of parts. My personality. My appearance. My sense of humor. My flaws. The things I'm good at. The things someone finds attractive.

Not a version of me. Not what I can give them. Not some trait they happen to love.

Just me

I don't want to spend my time wondering if someone actually wants me or just the idea of me. I don't want to constantly perform some perfect version of myself just to keep someone's attention.

I want something earnest.

Something a little embarrassing in how genuine it is.

So lately I've been wondering...

Are we actually trying to be loved, or are we just getting really good at pretending to be someone worth loving?